Tips to Overcome Shame and Guilt in Recovery

Guilt and shame in recovery are common feelings for many people as they examine the impact their addiction has had on themselves and those around them.¹  As you rebuild and repair relationships and your life, you should know that it can be very helpful to your recovery to know how to navigate these emotions.¹

The 12 steps of recovery as outlined by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) includes two key steps that may bring up feelings of shame and guilt in recovery: the 4^th step, which includes making a fearless moral inventory of yourself, and the 5^th step, which involves admitting your wrongs to another person.² Working through these steps may allow you to release feelings that may be impeding your recovery.¹

This article will help you understand the importance of dealing with guilt and shame in recovery and help you find support as you work through the process.

What Is the Difference Between Guilt and Shame?

The words guilt and shame are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same thing.¹ Essentially, the key difference is that guilt involves feelings and judgments about what you’ve done, whereas shame involves feelings and judgments about who you are.¹

Guilt is a feeling that can occur when a person becomes aware of the negative impact of their behaviors and actions on themselves and others.^{1 intro 2nd par} It involves feeling responsible for a behavior that is perceived to be wrong or harmful.^{3 highlight} Guilt can involve self-talk such as, “I have behaved worse than other people.”^{1 intro 2nd par}

People who feel guilty may feel that they have acted in a way that they know they should not, which can motivate them to make changes.³  Guilt can often be a helpful emotion in recovery because, when properly acknowledged, it can prompt people to take responsibility for their previous hurtful actions and repair past mistakes.¹

On the other hand, shame is a self-appraisal that involves negative judgments and feelings about who you are as a person.¹ This might involve self-talk such as “I am a bad person,” or, “I am worthless.” Shame does not involve a feeling of responsibility, rather, it is a negative self-evaluation that is not necessarily related to a behavior or event.³

If you feel shame, you might feel unworthy of self-love, or the love, respect, and support of others, because you inherently feel like a bad person.¹ Shame can involve a feeling of defectiveness, as though who you are at the core is less than others or less than who you think you should really be.³  You might also feel like you just don’t have the power to be who you want to be.³

Guilt, shame, and addiction can be insidious, and these feelings can impede a person’s progress in recovery if not fully examined and worked through.^3,4 However, this is not always easy without proper support.

Why Do People Feel Guilt and Shame During Recovery?

Although they are distinct emotions, guilt and shame in addiction are often intertwined during the recovery process.¹

People may feel guilt and shame during the addiction recovery treatment process as they start to develop an increased awareness of the ways that their substance or alcohol use disorder, and associated compulsive or negative behaviors, have impacted their lives and the lives of those around them.¹ This can become especially apparent as people begin to work through the 12 steps, or in individual or group counseling.² 

How to Overcome Guilt and Shame in Recovery

It’s not always easy, but there are many ways that you can try to overcome guilt and shame during recovery, including:^2,8-10

• Practicing mindfulness and focusing on the present moment.
• Developing an awareness of your emotions.
• Accepting your past, your actions, and yourself.
• Cultivating self-compassion, learning to forgive yourself, and moving forward from past wrongs.
• Building or rebuilding healthy, positive relationships, such as surrounding yourself with people who value you.
• Engaging in self-help groups to obtain support from others who have been in your shoes.
• Participating in cognitive therapies to overcome negative self-labeling and thoughts.
• Attending 12-Step meetings and working through the 12 steps of recovery.
• Talking about your issues and recovery with trusted friends, family, or your therapist.
• Seeking help if necessary.

Benefits of Working Through Guilt and Shame in Recovery

During addiction treatment, people may progress through a continuum of care that can include components such as detox, inpatient rehab, and outpatient treatment.⁵  Throughout this process, as a person learns to manage and work through the guilt and shame of alcohol use or drug misuse in appropriate ways, they can start to experience increased motivation to change and more positive emotions, which can subsequently lead to the development of healthier coping skills, which are important during the recovery journey.⁶

As you work through guilt and shame, you may experience an increase in:^3,4,7

• Prosocial behaviors, such as being more inclined to reach out to others, display empathy, or engage in cooperation.
• Self-corrective behaviors, such as recognizing the temptation to resume substance use and performing a healthier activity instead.
• Motivation, which is necessary to make healthy life changes.
• Better problem-solving skills, so that you can cope with problems and stress in a constructive way.
• Reparative skills in relationships, such as acknowledging when you’ve done something wrong and making amends, instead of avoiding the person or subject.

How to Get Help

While it may seem counterintuitive, shame and guilt are often important parts of the drug and alcohol addiction treatment recovery process, and it’s important to address these and other emotions in order to repair the damage caused by addiction and move forward.¹⁰ However, it can be hard to deal with these feelings on your own and American Addiction Centers is here to help you every step of the way.

If you’re struggling with addiction and shame, please call us at or text us instead to find out about your rehab options, and learn more about how our addiction treatment centers can support you in your recovery.